10 thoughts on 2006

[Dave]

-10 THOUGHTS FOR 2006

# 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

# 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

# 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

# 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

# 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

# 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

# 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

# 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

# 2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE #1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:


We know exactly where one bird with bird flu is located among the millions and millions of birds in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where a thousand illegal-immigrants with criminal convictions are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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When persistence meets opportunity, you have "luck"...